Rough week with the accumulation of chemotherapy, radiation therapy and side effects. Knocked about by this combination has left production of the blog lacking. Had to go to the ER last night for pain management. The ambulance ride itself was quite an ordeal. Kinda like being jarred and bumped around inside a carnival ride, only you don't feel all that well. It's amazing to see how completely impersonal medicine and the whole healthcare system has become. Coming from a small town, somewhat idyllic time when doctors made house calls and genuinely cared about how you were doing. Today, with medicine as big business and 'systemized', there are only a few nurses med techs can doctors who exhibit what caring used to be. Okay, I'm whining.

Just something about taking that physical pain threshold of '10' and enduring it longer that you think possible is capable of re-wring the noodle. The nurses and doctors ask 'What is your pain level on scale of 1-10?' (1 being the easiest, 10 the worst). It's a way of managing the pain level and getting you recovered. In this case, being at level 10 for long enough cause the body to shut down, there's just moaning. No real thought happens, nothing spiritual, just the physical organism's way of preserving vital function as long as possible until there is relief. Whew.

A good chance of completing the next Psiplex LifeSeries in the next week. This once consists of some original quotes and life introspection. It will be posted to YouTube & ISSSU. Will put the word out here & twitter. One Love

Time exists solely for the mind. Time exists only for the mind. The mind aligns with time. Got time, out of time, in time, through time – all objective concepts. 
The consciousness, the Atman, Brahman, Christ Consciousness, Buddha Consciousness or what you wish to refer to as your innermost nature is changeless and out of time. The mind, as a tool of logic needs to be able to apprehend space and time for positioning purposes, orienting one to the clocks and patterns and geography of one's surroundings. For this purpose and the purpose of calculating things, the mind is a wonderful tool. Not so much for matters of timelessness, consciousness and awareness of the True Self. 

To know who you are, it is said, it is best to find out who you are not. The person with all the conditioning and role playing is not you. Get that straight now. You are not your mind, your body, your name or your SS#. Who are you? Good question! There is no ready-made textbook answer, rather it is a jump off question of self discovery. You are aware that you are alive and aware that you are, well, aware. Something else also can be sensed that is aware. What is this? You can be aware that you have a conscious sense of what is arising and yet, there is the sense of an 'other' being aware that YOU are aware. By going deeper into this seeing, you will discover what you are. What are you? A human being? An object? An android? Look and see. This time, we will take a look at two highly respected writers, teachers and travelers who have direct knowledge and experience.

Shivadhyan

and

Prakash

are two wonderful beings highly regarded by myself and others. Let's hear what they have to say below.


Fellow Blogger & India Traveler

has a clear definition of who the 'I Am' is.




:

Self (I Am)

-

pure undifferentiated consciousness prior to individuality

self (I am)

- the individual ego-identity

The feeling-sense of 'I' or 'I am'

- pertaining to the 'I'-thought at the core of the ego

the True 'I' or 'I Am'

- the Higher Self beyond thoughts or feelings

Self-Inquiry

- the approach of focusing attention on the feeling-sense of 'I' or 'I am' such that thoughts drop off and the True 'I' or 'I Am' is revealed

Pure Awareness, Pure Consciousness, Pure Being

- synonyms for the Self

Sat-Chit-Ananda

- the three essential, inherent and inseparable qualities of the Self, namely, Existence
-Consciousness-Bliss or Being-Awareness-Peace

Embodied Beingness

- my own term used to refer to feeling very present, very still and very centered in the body which I was confusing with the feeling-sense of 'I' and/or Pure Being.

Chicago teacher, writer and all around excellent dude

Kevin Edwards

aka

Prakash

has a brilliant aticle and this is an

from “

” from the Blog 'Enter The New'

© 2009 Prakash




The belief, I am me or I am set apart is what prevents coming home, or liberation. Liberation is liberation from this belief in I. It is the flip-side of faith. Liberation is freedom from ignorance. Faith is holding to the truth of God. It is the same thing. The only difference is that the ego, owing to a perceived separate identity, can do nothing but objectify. As a result, Truth, God, Love, Reality etc. become separate objects or concepts, setting the Infinite apart from Itself. This is the delusion. The main point is that without this belief, "I am me," Without this belief "I am finite," without excluding anything from Wholeness, when you have lost your life in order to save it, the truth of Oneness is no longer overshadowed. What is hidden since the foundation of the world, what is hidden from the knowledgeable is finally revealed.

Everything is God, not knowing it. There are no separate individuals. "The One became two. Two became three, and three became ten thousand things." Since this apparent separation has resulted, the shining Truth has been overshadowed by ignorance. What is called salvation consists in undoing this basic error. It is leading the ego out of bondage into the promised land, leading the soul from being lost to being saved.

Being lost is the very opposite of being saved. Whereas being saved is being saved from separation and ignorance, being lost is to continue in it. Continuing in ignorance is what creates enemies. There are no enemies. "Whatsoever you do to the least of these, you do to me." In other words, the mystical body of Christ is Christ, and Christ is God. How you treat "others" is how you treat God, because God is all there is, including what you call “you.” All that is happening is that God is making the journey home. Another way of saying this is everything is being redeemed or saved from separation.

In truth, nothing is actually separate. Holiness is anything but being “set apart.” That’s "the dream." The ego actually has it's being in God. Put another way, the ego is God. The ego isn't an ego at all. Nothing here is apart from anything else: not the body, not the mind, not the self, not others, not the world, nothing. There are no borders or boundaries, no inside or outside, no difference or distinction and no others. There is just one eternal reality. The relative is only the absolute in time. Read more at

. Kevin holds a Masters degree in Sacred Theology from the Angelicum in Rome and is a gifted writer, who uses prose and parables to awaken. No stranger to other cultures, Kevin has enlightened audiences in Rome, in the US and in India where he received the name

Prakash

which means light. You can contact Prakash through his e-mail address at:

prakash@enterthenew.com

One Love Prakash!

Cancer Resources

Assistance tips

iPhone and iPod Touch wallpapers from Psiplex

Free to download and use.

the Psiplex iPhone or iPod Touch 320 x 480 PNG file wallpapers. Use it as a reminder to stay connected and creative! The Mystic Tree wallpaper features the @psiplex Twitter name so you can tweet about your next creative project with the Psi guy. The Digital blue wallpaper has official Psiplex logo and URL.

Save iPhone Wallpaper

Right click your mouse, select "Save image as" to download / save your selected iPhone wallpaper to your PC.
-- Mac users can save the image to a folder or add to iPhoto library.

-- PC users will want to save the wallpaper into their "My Pictures" folder.

One Love

Can you see the real me ? Can ya? can ya?

had a hit with this song many years ago It was a monster and underscores the propensity for the ego to be confused yet needing to be recognized and accepted. The ego always tries to manipulate its surroundings and others to get to a place where eventually, it isn't happy anyway.

One Thing to Ponder

If you are criticizing someone or wishing them failure, you are digging a pit for them. You may as well recognize that you are digging one for yourself. Just the suction of the negativity will cause you to fall into your own pit. Operate in love and all works out. Operate in fear and nothing works out. True dat.

Wanted to pass along that there is a new Psiplex artwork piece published in Platform 58 for April '09. The piece is titled "

" coinciding with the Platform 58 subject matter. "

" Appears on page 6. There are a lot of awesome submittals in this issue to check out. Would like to get your Tweets on any subject when you get time and opportunity @psiplex

iPhone and iPod Touch wallpapers from Psiplex

Free to download and use.

the Psiplex iPhone or iPod Touch 320 x 480 PNG file wallpapers. Use it as a reminder to stay connected and creative! The Mystic Tree wallpaper features the @psiplex Twitter name so you can tweet about your next creative project with the Psi guy. The Digital blue wallpaper has official Psiplex logo and URL.

Save iPhone Wallpaper

Right click your mouse, select "Save image as" to download / save your selected iPhone wallpaper to your PC.
-- Mac users can save the image to a folder or add to iPhoto library.

-- PC users will want to save the wallpaper into their "My Pictures" folder.

Excerpt

This snippet is from the forthcoming poem called 'Terms of Surrender' from Psiplex Phrase #9 to be published on ISSUU around the 1st of April, may be up there before that.

"25 ways to be as it is, no me struggling A past that is passed is just storage space"

You can check the Phase series as well as other creative writing chunks on ISSUU at the

Shoutouts

One of Atlanta's foundational record stores, promotional vehicles and all around good guys

was damn close to being all things to all people. The inimitable Mr. Woo, a founding father there is a true gentleman, entrepreneur and a reservoir of dynamism. Like a digital chameleon, Chuck is ever evolving and has had a big impact on how I came to understand how Atlanta's music industry and the interwebz work. Earwax Records brought a lot of previously unknown artists to the national forefront. I only hope the good folks there at EW could be compensated fro their promotional efforts by some of the artists who are now headliners. They certainly deserve it. For now, check out the

page to get the latest news. Rock on EARWAX! Big respect, light and love!

Has some incredible insight and teachings on the True Self, our path and purpose and finding out about who you really are. Diggin' it.

Abstract Thoughts

Imprinted on my mind every minute

“Really happy people are not pursuing happiness”

-Adyashanti

One Love

Here's why- this brief pathetic rundown of a typical day:

Appointment for MRI spinal scan and bloodwork, call health care system to deliver next month's tube feeding supplies before they run out. Call to see if the results came back from the testing place and to see if Doctor X's MA had received them. Run to bathroom. Call pharmacy to see if prescriptions have been called in , price and pickup time. Call for a ride to go to pharmacy and pick up medical records to go to Oncologist.

Flush PEG Tube and take steroid to prevent inflammation. Run to bathroom. Time for pain medication and anti-nausea. Call advocate and let him know how this week is going. Fatigue? Nausea? Anemic? Swollen ankles and knees make it hard to get a walk in. Low blood pressure. High blood pressure. Hangin' in there- talk to you next week. Schedule physical therapy for next week. Google calendar updates. Check E-mail for responses. Search for side effects of erbitux. Run to bathroom. Do I have time to go outside and play with you my beautiful godson? Not today, feeling tired,let's see if tomorrow works out better. Call back from chemotherapy infusion- all set for next week-schedule changed. Run to bathroom.

Cancer is selfish. There is rarely a minute that passes that does not include an 'I' thought about preparing, medicating or following up on the treatment for cancer in the course of a day. Hey, it's different for everybody, even those diagnosed with the exact same type of cancer- each one reacts based on their own genetics and physiology. The whole practice is so 'me' oriented that it is embarrassing. Not keeping up means more suffering for those around you who love you and the shell being wracked with this disgusting disease. 

Telling you this only to frame the absolute gratefulness and love I have for those who sacrifice daily to care for me. They stand in relief from the background of a 'me' oriented world as they are the foundation and resource of life on an hourly basis. Having family and friends who love and care for you is one of the most important weapons in battling cancer. I cannot express enough love and gratitude for my lovely life partner and best friend D whose beautiful strength and patience has made me appreciate her in new ways. To my brothers from other mothers who carry the day and my skinny ass from place to place and to the fam who rocks all the support one could wish for. The understanding provided by my 'home team' is the reason you are reading this today. So today, is a quiet battle to rest from all the chemo, blood work, MRI scans, shuttling to and from the hospital and med tech centers and to appreciate others. Good not to forget myself for awhile and take joy in the warm human kindness of those who have love and compassion in their souls.




Cancer Resource Links to Check Out

The Psiplex Platform 58 photo slideshow - Staying creative!

Find more photos like this on platform58

Kick Rocks!

One Love

Being master of the unexceptional has its advantages. Yes, being regular, pedestrian, run-of-the-mill and completely average has become rather refreshing in the current state of a national epidemic of 'roided out' everything. The insignificant, prosaic normalcy of being utterly unnoteworthy is kind of fun, actually. Are you okay with being unexceptional? Are you okay with being a person in the crowd that no one is particularly drawn to? Are you okay with your averageness? It's good to be nearly invisible once in a while! From our earliest conditioning we are taught to stand out, be proud and be a leader. Come to find out, it's overrated and requires lots of Tylenol (or worse) later in the career to keep the myth afloat. Learning to let go of the conditioned response to be exceptional is liberating. Like my bud, Pyut the Ironman, doing less is what it is all about.

Always having to attain something above and beyond what is perceived to be your competitor or even your contemporary is bogus. Getting rid of your limited self concepts allows you to see your pre-conditioned true Self — who you were before you adopted the role of 'me'. The true essence of who you are, your natural self is enough. The very singleness that makes you who you are should be celebrated, then you can go back to bed and get some rest. Attending one less meeting, one less fake holiday office party, one less social function will pay back dividends. Just the pressure relief of not having to play along with a perceived notion of who you think people think you are is refreshing. Spending extra time in the pajamas and fuzzy slippers non-competing with the world gives back life. Staging a revolution of non-resistance in your most comfortable jeans and (Psiplex) Tee-shirt will make being unexceptional completely rule. 

W00t yourself happy by shucking a tux, not washing the car for another week, skipping a haircut, putting off yard work and not Twittering could buy you extra time in front of that coffee and apple pie. Then, you can relax enough to perhaps let the muse have you for a bit to write, create some music, play with the cat or alpaca, sling some poetry or tell someone you love them and head back to bed. Appreciate who you truly are without the role you play and realize you don't have to fake being exceptional on the outside, because you already are that on the inside! Eckhart Tolle had some good points that I want to share with you:

–

Don't be defined by the roles you play – relinquish the role when it is not required anymore

–

You are the space of consciousness of whatever happens in your life

–

Know who you are will set you free (stillness) Only the truth of who you are if realized will set you free.

–

All structures and forms are unstable – a recognition of the impermanence of all forms makes the realization of timelessness.

–

You are the universe expressing yourself as a human for a little while

–

You are not your thoughts, you are the awareness that makes the thoughts possible. You are the awareness disguised as a person. Put your attention to the aliveness of the inner body and away from thinking. Focus on the stillness.

Check out an earlier post on being '

'. This post deals with not having to be connected to a false sense of who you are operating in the even larger artificial and bogus falsehood of social conditioning.

The 7

th

in the Psiplex Phrase Series is all about '

'. It is a step of self inquiry that asks 'Who Am I” beyond the role we take ourselves to be. Phrase #7 has original poetry, prose and a desire to connect with what you are going through on the daily. Phrase something over to me at

to see how you can become a part of the series. Would love to connect with creative sparks that deal with awareness, consciousness, the True Self, art, music and expressing the self through creative writing and being in the stream of life consciousness.

Playing for Change – World One Love

In celebration of Bob Marley's 64th birthday, watch the video of a new rendition of the Marley classic "

" as put together by the global musical and multimedia movement Playing for Change.

Shameless Psiplex self-promotion on YouTube , hey! it's short :-)

New Psiplex :30 spot YouTube-


Shout Outs

–

–

Psi Linkage

Battling Cancer Health Update

Tests to determine pinched nerve in back or what is exactly causing back spasms. Chemo on Tuesday completely wiped me out. Felt like I was burning up and drying up at the same time while in a refrigerated box- freezing hot and totally weird. Combine that with nausea and diarrhea and you've go yourself some prime time misery. Comforting to know I am not this cancer and I am not this limited body or mind. This too, will pass. Staying creative playing with T-shirt designs helps. Got a spinal MRI on Thursday - 2

nd

half on Monday more info about

at:

Head and Neck Cancer Resource links to YouTube Vids and articles

:

PSA Screening May Lead to Overdiagnosis of

Quotes for Now

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.


10 Things You Should Know about Nobody

10

. A Nobody has gone past the need for artificiality at the 'Self' level. The ego is dissolving, the mind moving into the heart.

9

. A nobody has gone beyond the need to care about being Nobody

8

. A Nobody has as much use for the ego as they do for a stock offer from Madoff

7

. A Nobody is more in tune with the real tune, nobody in particular, not suffering an idea about a 'self', a false conditioning.

6

. A Nobody requires no moral support from a moral majority, minority or enormity

5

. A Nobody genuinely cares for everybody as they are one connectedness

4

. A Nobody has found the balance of the universe, of cause and effect needing no-thing

3

. A Nobody is ever present in the eternal NOW, timeless and realizes that the changeless nature of
the Source is reality

2

. A Nobody's independence from the false identity embraced by others doesn't inhibit or prohibit their respect, love and connectedness to other beings

1

. A Nobody has no need of the past or future as NOW is the only time that is. A Nobody realizes that there is nothing to strive for to be a 'better me' as we are already THAT, no contention, no resistance, allowing peace to flow.

Forgiving yourself for the purpose of discovering yourself.

To not strive to produce an intent that does not honor awareness and 'I AM' as One, as True Self

Good quote and thoughts from

from his March 8 blog :

It Ain't Over 'till the Fat Lady Sings

:

"I think that whatever spiritual enlightenment is, then no teacher or teaching has a monopoly or exclusive franchise upon it. So each person who is putting themselves forth as a teacher no doubt has a degree of illumination and a degree of understanding which might, for a time, prove helpful and supportive to others in their own self-unfolding, recognizing that no-one can give or take away that which is the essential nature of us all. However there also seems to be manifold opportunities for degrees of self-delusion, limited understanding and different view points at every stage of the journey. So it would seem then to pay to never take ones own or others opinions too seriously, recognizing that ultimately, this play of Consciousness is a mystery which is beyond the human minds capacity to understand. We may have some helpful general concepts about it but in the actual living of it, it seems that we must let go of attachment to the conceptual mind altogether.

I have found in my own explorations, both here at Arunachala and before, that the various teachers and teachings all have something useful to offer and can all offer some light on what may be considered as aspects of truth and pathways towards that. Furthermore, depending upon their own degree of direct illumination and upon ones own receptivity, then a teacher can also act as a channel for the silent energy of Consciousness to catalyse ones own subjective experience of what is spoken of whether it is considered as a Divine Presence or as a Vast Silence. I like how Werner puts it; that there are no stages in Reality, but if one has a lasting experiential opening to a deeper appreciation and living of that Reality, then not to take it as something final (taking oneself to have become Enlightened) but rather as more like the ending of one chapter and the beginning of something new. That we do not get stuck in thinking that we have arrived, but that we continue to cultivate the deepening of our experience thereby always allowing the mystery to unfold and expand. That when the fixated identity of being a 'me' falls away then we are able to not take the whole story of this holographic magic show so seriously. That we can take this adventure here on earth playfully and fully enjoy our role as embodiments of unfolding Consciousness being made richer by the experience." Additionally, good article from Shiva112 on the

Cancer Links and Resources

Steps to take to

– from eHow

Take Care of Yourself During Chemotherapy

Step 1

Purchase over-the-counter medications for nausea, diarrhea, mouth pain and other side effects. Your doctor can recommend appropriate medications.

Step 2

Create a resting place. Invest in cozy sheets and pillows to make your sleep comfortable. Add a radio or CD player for soft, soothing music and a journal in which you can catalog your feelings and fears.

Step 3

Use low impact exercise, such as yoga or tai chi, to quell anxiety. Deep breathing exercises also can lower stress. Exercise releases endorphins that can raise your mood, and consistent exercise can increase your energy.

Step 4

Buy a selection of foods that are easy to eat, in case your appetite wanes or vanishes. Try sherbet, yogurt, instant breakfast drinks, protein shakes or fruit smoothies.

Step 5

Be aware that side effects may not vanish once your chemotherapy treatment ends. As you attend follow-up appointments with your doctor, explain which symptoms are lingering.

Know What to Avoid

Step 1

Keep away from anyone suffering from cold, flu or virus. Chemotherapy weakens your immune system, making you more vulnerable to illness.

Step 2

Stay away from people who are negative or drain your energy. Surround yourself with positive, upbeat friends. You also can lift your mood by putting your favorite art, trinkets, photos or other mementos in places where you will see them regularly.

Step 3

Do not overexert yourself. Recovering from chemotherapy demands energy, so get plenty of rest. If you find yourself too fatigued for calisthenics, aerobics or weight lifting, try range-of-motion exercises in bed or in a chair.

SHOUT OUTS

Dionne

– you are a blessing and a representation of the universe's answer in my life

The Mayor and the Ambassador

– My brothers Fasil and Miron – I am counting on you!

Miles Davis

-

50th Anniversary on YouTube

Carol Cooper's Compass WebWorks

“

”

Mooji's Blogspot

– '

'

Battling Cancer Health Update

Trying to remedy swollen ankles, swollen knees that are affecting mobility. Not having a full lymphatic system really taxes the body, pulling fluids around the joints. Managing pain, nausea and diarrhea is full time while fighting fatigue that acts like a cheap hoodie. Elevating feet and trying to get more nutrition to combat the effects of accumulating chemo crud. Yeech. So far, hangin' in there with the Erbitux but it causes a rather nasty rash- like having 13 year old acne again, but all over. Spirits are good. That's why I'm always telling you that you have to stay creative in whatever complexity you are facing. Just let the roof off every once in a while and let the universe pour in some sparky creative vibes. Be open to change and know you are changeless.

Psiplex is a chunk of consciousness having fun in the creative impulse happily creating and sharing poetry, music and graphics while deepening in love, awareness, awakening and the true Self.